There is One Good Bomb – it’s Called a “Steven Bomb.”

I am about…way too far behind this. I mean, they already dropped the second video (edit on the second video: I had been given the wrong link before, apparently there’s a whole second promo, which I’ll link at the bottom and hopefully get a chance to discuss later) and I’m just now addressing this at all. Please forgive me, I had a very late-season flubug this past week so I didn’t really have energy to really devote into a more in-depth post. Anyone who is heavily interested in this cartoon already knows this, but there is a Steven Bomb coming. For those who aren’t, a Steven Bomb is when they drop five new episodes one right after the other. The first gave us the world’s greatest ship and an epic Estelle song, and the most recent one gave us adventures in space with a Patti Lupone song. I don’t expect a big song to come from this one, though a girl can hope. Not all bombs have had songs, and season four has been a little bit skimpy on the songs anyway. It probably wouldn’t fit with the tone they’re creating.

Now, I’m going to link the trailer. Obviously there are spoiler warnings for people who don’t want even the tiniest bit spoiled and huge spoilers for people who’ve not yet watched the show. There’s especially spoilers for season four. But it’s also a good glimpse at what you’ve been missing, and hey I never would have watched the show myself if not for the greatest spoiler of the whole show which I’m immensely sad I was spoiled on TUMBLR. I can’t be too mad though. One of these days I’ll find someone who hasn’t seen it yet and get them to watch it with me and watch their face as they see the greatest ship for the first time. That’s…the closest I can come to seeing how excited I might have been seeing it for myself. So, trust me, I feel you on spoilers. In this show, the tiniest bursts of excitement from the fandom can spoil all sorts of people. So definitely watch if you need help finding reasons to watch the show but try not to go Googling and spoiling yourself on all the other hidden greatnesses this show has to offer.


Oh also from this point on I’m going to probably discuss all the spoilers in context of the show, since about the only non-spoiler things I can say are “WOO EXCITING MYSTERY AHOY!” though it’s not really that big of a mystery unless the big plot twist is that…oh wait, that’s also a spoiler. So uh, to stay spoiler free why don’t you mosey on over to literally anywhere you can and watch the show. I can recommend Hulu, since it’s on there. I’ve heard talks that it might eventually be on Netflix, but I don’t know about that one. All the episodes are also available for purchase on Amazon. And if you want to watch a bit before committing, yes you can find them out there. As you know, I’m cheap. I don’t like buying things unless I know they’re worth it, and as much as I can tell you this is worth it I know you have to find out for yourself.

So go! Find out! Discover the wonder. Adults, you don’t always need a dark gritty bloody live-acted tv show. (Remember, this show is created, passionately so, by adults as well. It’s not one of those mind-numbing ‘for kids’ kinds of entertainment programs. It’s more of an all-ages sort of thing. There’s even a few semi-hidden adult jokes if you need them, as well as some very frank looks at somewhat grown up topics. Of course, I’ll get into all of that later when I actually get around to breaking down why Steven Universe is so great.)

Anyway. After this point, it’s full on spoiler time. You have been warned. Don’t be me. Don’t let a huge spoiler be your introduction. If you aren’t caught up, go get caught up.



First and foremost

We can get the obvious things out of the way – Everyone is talking about it, everyone is ready for it. NEW GEMS. Apparently they’ve already been revealed to be Aquamarine (the maybe-bitty one with wings) and Topaz (the flattop beside her). This is always a big deal, running all the way back to everyone’s favorite green dorito. No new fusions noted, though who’s to say we won’t get one? We haven’t seen the bomb yet! (Yeah I’m not holding out hope either, but it technically could happen.) I’m most curious to see how big Aquamarine actually is, since if she matches the little sprite from the last bomb then, well, I can easily see them putting her in a jar like a lightening bug. Though of course she has Topaz there to stop that from happening.

I was thinking of purposes for a gem that small, and I realized that they’re actually the perfect spies. They can lean in on a conversation without anyone knowing they’re there. Whether or not we actually go this route – I doubt it – remains to be seen, but that is at least one logical job for a gem of her size.

Other things people have noted:

– Jasper’s theme is played during the trailer. I really don’t think Jasper is coming back though, at least not during this bomb, considering her current state.

– Considering YellowTail has a harpoon gun, apparently Vidalia has a gun, and I bet Sour Cream and the rest of the cool kids in town have some kind of…something. Even if it is just raving at the enemy. Onion probably wasn’t the smartest capture choice for the kidnappers.

– Pearl’s tears. I mean, they’re right there, you don’t have to notice them. They’re an important shot. But those tears man. We’re really in for it now.

– The ride’s door opens by itself. Is it the wind? Maybe, maybe not. We’ll have to see. (Has that ride always been in FunLand?)

– Is it “Are you my dad?” or “Are you ‘My Dad’?” While I’m definitely with the fandom leaning towards the latter (and that it’s Aquamarine asking that phrase), I know by now that the Crewniverse is famous for their surprise twists. As I saw in a (joke) post on reddit, it’s possible that it’s Steven’s son from the future come back to warn him about something that’s coming. That would most likely be a bad twist, but it’s still a twist we wouldn’t expect.

Now some thoughts.

There’s been a fairly heavy discussion about how this is the Diamonds kidnapping humans for the zoo. Or, rather, having some of their lesser gems round up humans in preparation for hauling them to the zoo. I don’t contest this at all, of course. It’s something we’ve been waiting for since, well, they said they were going to do it half a season ago. I am curious about one thing though – why Beach City?

Beach City doesn’t seem like it was particularly special in the war. The great battlefield was some longdistance warp away, Pink Diamond’s palanquin was in South Korea, not to forget that Blue Diamond also picked up Greg from South Korea. Unless they’re doing a blanket pick up of apparently a lot of humans across the Earth, it seems that they got rather lucky, in a sense, randomly selecting Beach City as their culling grounds. Now, it’s entirely possible that they’re targeting this place because this was where Peridot was heading back in season one, but even back in season one it had me curious. Peridot encountered the Crystal Gems at the Galactic Warp and at the Kindergarten – not in Beach City. She also stated that the Red Eye, which was conveninetly aimed at Beach City, didn’t pick up the presence of other gems. Somehow. I mean come on Red Eye, how bad at you at your job? They were literally chucking Amethyst at your face! I mean…I know the iris didn’t necessarily have to be the camera, but that’s kind of dumb of Peridot to aim the camera at space or the ocean if the camera isn’t in the iris.



I know Pearl has mentioned that they ‘attract’ these sorts of things, but damn ladies. Actually, thinking about it, this attraction probably has something to do with the temple. There is a lot of weird gem magic mystery stuff going on inside that there giant woman. Although the Ruby Squad did manage to make their way directly to Steven’s location that one time…but then again the barn isn’t that far in Beach City, from the looks of the shots in Back to the Barn.

Ok, I’ve fallen way too far down the theory hole and popped out in the land of ‘making up answers to appease myself’ at this point. This could easily just be a classic case of Cartoon Logic, and I’m ok with that. Though I would love if we got a concrete answer as to why Beach City is so special. Although on the other hand it could go the way of Sunnydale (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and become the HellMouth of Earth. I wouldn’t like that excuse much. Maybe it used to be – no, no no. I said I wasn’t going to keep digging in that hole.

The Steven Bomb.

As far as the gems go, Pearl was a clear focus. I’m not sure if that was on purpose, if it’s a sign we’re going to get more Pearl development or not, but I know one real good reason why she was in there: She really sells this trailer. There’s a reason all the YouTube videos that aren’t using Topaz and Aquamarine as their thumbnail are using her distraught tears. To be fair, Pearl’s tears always make for good moments.



I’m not a big theorizer. I mean, I can be, if you push me to theorize. But even in college I never really liked being pushed to assume things about what an author meant or to come up with ideas for what might happen, unless it was for a fanfic type deal, though hopefully fanficcing the crap out of history or future or in betweens of various media isn’t considered theorizing. I don’t consider it theorizing, so. I once had a teacher who gave me the option between theorizing on what Turn of the Screw, a book I’m pretty sure was written just to piss off obsessive theorizers (my classmates in college were quite close to starting a theory war over their personal readings of it – like one guy actually wrote a passive aggressive essay about why everyone else’s theories were wrong and his was right), was trying to say, or write a ‘short story’ about what happened after the novel. I chose the fanfic option. But it was that or If you’d ask me how I felt about the possibility of Garnet’s fusiondom way back in the day (y’know, if her fusiondom hadn’t been the giant spoiler that introduced me to the fact that this whole thing existed) I probably would have said “the evidence is stronger for x-theory, but it could go either way and I won’t be upset, so long as it’s written well.”

That’s how I feel about this too. About everything with this show – mostly because they don’t disappoint. I have already addressed that I agree with the Aquamarine theory…and I also rammed myself face-first down the question-line which could have led to theorizing about why Beach City. BUT there is one theory that I’m really not interested in either way: If Steven turns himself over to the Diamonds and tells them he’s Rose Quartz.

That could be fun. But it also might be a bit dark for this show, considering how badly it seems Yellow wants to shatter all Rose Quartz gems just for being of the same make as their old enemy.  I don’t personally think that he’s going to get himself abducted again. Those lights look kinda like they might belong to that ride at Funland. But then I also don’t care what happens. All I care is that it is happening. May 8. STEVEN BOMB IS COMING!


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